Theological Musings

ost of you who read this blog on a regular basis have seen glimpses into some of my journey. And you probably know that at some point in the past, I was involved in vocational ministry. Much of what I write about when I reference the conventional model of church (or “institutional church”, aka IC, as I sometimes refer to it as) is far from theoretical. It’s based on my own experiences in various positions and on both sides of the “desk”, so to speak.

In the past, I was on the “pastoral staff” of four different churches, and served in other paid capacities (mostly related to music) in a handful of others, as well. The moves were mostly geographical, and not just because I was “church-hopping”.

My first pastoral position was part-time, and I eventually left that position for a full-time position in a different church in a different state. Then, it was off to seminary, which included a move to a different state about 24 hours’ drive away, so once again a change. I didn’t immediately join a staff when I went to seminary, but eventually found myself once again on pastoral staff.

During that position, sin in my life caused it all (including my marriage) to fall apart, and I left seminary and vocational ministry for a number of years, turning to computer software development for my income. My last position came several years later in the form of a part-time position in yet another location altogether.

One of the things I remember very vividly when I was a young pastor was the advice of the gentleman who was my senior pastor at the time. He advised me not to get close to the people in our congregation, but to maintain a certain amount of separation from them. He even went so far as to name the names of specific people that would end up “stabbing me in the back” if I got too close in friendship to them.

I discovered at that time how lonely it could be “at the top” of the hierarchical system (even though I wasn’t the senior pastor, I still viewed myself as being part of “the top”). And if I could go back and do it differently, I certainly would. I would have taken the risk of building genuine relationships. I would have not listened to the advice that was given to me to seclude myself “at the top” and hold my brothers and sisters at arms’ length. That’s hindsight, though. At the time, I took the route of loneliness and isolation, as have many other pastors.

But even more lonely than the pastors, sometimes, and certainly more overlooked in this concern, are the wives of pastors. I saw this when I was in the ministry, and watched as the ministry took its toll on the wives behind the men up front.

My lovely wife has recently written a post about this topic, based on some recent news articles. I would encourage you to go to her blog and read “The Calling“. She offers some good thoughts on what those within the conventional system can do to help alleviate this problem. Here’s a quote to whet your appetite:

I don’t know the personal situations of the families that we hear of in the news, but I do believe it is a sad commentary for Christians to have a person hiding behind the persona of a pastor’s wife, but dying inside for a lack of true companionship, relationships and love.

Go read the whole thing and see what you think.

Until next time,

steve