As an example of trusting God, we talked about the daily provision of food.  Jesus told us in Matthew 6 that we should not worry about food or clothing, but that we should seek after the kingdom of God, and everything that we need will be provided for us.

In response to that episode, my favorite skeptic/agnostic/atheist (depending on the context in which he labels himself!) Sid Faiwu (not his real name, by the way, and it’s pronounced FAY-woo, as I have taken a long time to learn!) asked a very good question.  I will repost the entire relevant part of his comment here so that you don’t have click over if you really don’t want to…

Taking literally the idea that if one trusts God, then one will be provided with food, clothing, etc. is morally problematic. Every true statement’s contrapositive is also true. The belief you hold to be true is:

If one trusts God, then one will always have enough food.

It’s contrapositive is:

If one doesn’t [sic] not have enough food, then one does not trust God.

It means that if someone starves or is starving, then it’s their own fault for not trusting God. It blames the victim. I’d imagine this is why so few people take this part of the Bible as literal truth.

Secondly, I’d argue that such a belief is simply false. It suggests that Christians should never starve if they truly trust God. I would argue that of all the Christians who have died of starvation over the centuries, at least one of them trusted God in this way. She/He trusted God to provide and he failed to come through.

I completely understand where Sid is coming from on this.  And on the surface, I would agree that it sounds more like blaming the victim.  But I think there are some assumptions made in Sid’s argument that could use a little scrutiny.

First of all, I don’t think there’s any way to argue the actual point regarding contrapositives.  Sid is entirely correct that the contrapositive must be true.  It’s in the evaluation of that contrapositive that I think there are some problems.

Sid says that the original statement by Jesus is morally problematic.  I’m not sure about the “morally” part, because I think that putting the responsibility on someone is not necessarily “blaming the victim”.  In fact, the very phrase “blaming the victim” causes problems because it assumes victim status where none has been established.  In other words, if the words of Jesus here are, in fact, correct, then one who does not heed his words would not be a victim.  They would, in the words found elsewhere in scripture, “reap what they sow”.

So, from that standpoint, I think we need to withhold judgment on whether or not someone is a “victim”.  Let me explain a bit further.  The concept of trusting God (or “faith”) appears many, many times in the New Testament (especially, the four gospels) in conjunction with healing.  Now, I know that we’ve discussed this on this blog in the past, but I think that often we put the cart before the horse. Rather than assuming that Jesus was telling the truth, we try to find other explanations for what we see.

I’ve said it before here: Read the four gospels and make a note of anytime Jesus heals someone from a physical illness.  In those instances, note how often Jesus comments about their faith.  Statements like “your faith has healed you”, or “if you believe, all things are possible” jump out at me.  They are not isolated statements. They are woven consistently through every physical healing with very little exception.

Today, however, when someone does not get healed, and one dares to raise the question of faith, emotional responses often claim that we’re “blaming the victim”.  But if that is true, why did Jesus talk so much about faith in those situations?

From that standpoint, the passage regarding food and clothing is not anything out of the ordinary for Jesus.  In fact, I think it is entirely consistent with the rest of his teaching.  Faith is an integral part of receiving what the Father provides.

Take the story of the prodigal son.  While he was sitting in the pig pen wishing he could eat the scraps he was feeding the pigs, was he a victim?  He was the son of a man who was providing everything he needed — food, clothing, shelter — and yet he had not received what his father was providing because he left home.  He was not a victim.  He received the consequences of his own choices.

Sometimes the situation is not so clear.  One may claim they are trusting God for their provision, but maybe they are hiding their own doubt and worry.  Maybe they are seeking after their own provisions and not really seeking first the kingdom of God, as Jesus instructed.  We can’t judge their hearts, obviously, but I think it doesn’t really make sense to just throw out the words of Jesus in our own lives because of what we think is going on in someone else’s.

Let me turn, now, to the second objection Sid raises.  I have to admit that Sid surprised me with this one, because Sid is usually very concerned about empirical evidence.  Verifiable facts.  And yet here, he throws in a highly hypothetical situation, rolling the dice of history and assuming that somehow he can roll the right number.

Sid says, “…of all the Christians who have died of starvation over the centuries, at least one of them trusted God in this way.”  This pits the statement of Jesus against some “odds” that seem pretty incredible.  I would argue that this is not a logical argument, and therefore is not valid.

It’s not able to be proven or disproven because we can’t go back through history and interview those who have died.  In fact, I would say that there is stronger evidence (eyewitness, even) for the resurrection of Jesus, yet Sid rejects that account, by his own admission.  Yet, in this case, Sid is willing to pit the words of Jesus against unknown, unverifiable, unrecorded “witnesses”.

All I can offer, Sid, is my own testimony.  My own eyewitness account.  I have shared some of these accounts on this blog and on the “Beyond the Box” podcast in the past, so I won’t recount them now.  But if there are any questions, I’ll gladly share them again.  I can’t answer for anyone else, but I have found the words of Jesus — all of them that we have recorded — to be accurate, truthful, and consistent in my life.  When I have trusted my Father, I have never been disappointed.  I have never been rejected by him.  And whatever he has promised has come to pass.  When I have not trusted him, I have found that the consequences of not trusting him have borne out the very promises he made — I have, indeed, reaped what I have sown.

Now, before I close, allow me to say a brief word about “faith”.  Hebrews 11:1 defines faith for us.  I like the way the New International Version words it: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  Faith is not always based on what we see or what we can touch or what we can prove with our senses.  Faith believes that truth can sometimes supercede evidence.

I know that sounds wacky to some, but I hope you can understand where I’m coming from.  Right now, in fact, we are going through another mini-financial crisis in our family.  A check that was supposed to arrive over a week ago (a substantial part of our monthly income) has not arrived.  We honestly don’t know how we will pay for stuff this week.  Bills that are due, rent that will be due on the 1st, food and gas that are needed this week — we don’t know how we will pay for all of that.

But we trust.  Why? Because of our faith.  Because we know that God has promised.  And in addition to that faith, we have the track record behind us to prove it.  Whenever I have sought the kingdom of God first in my life, all of my needs have been provided for.  Sometimes in really cool “miraculous” ways, sometimes in much more ordinary ways.  But always, always, always, my Father has kept his word.

So, does believing that faith is something we possess and exercise put blame on someone else who doesn’t?  That’s not really the point.  The point is, Jesus said that we can trust the Father for this, and I have found it to be true in my life.  That is the testimony I provide.

Until next time,

steve

• I am so thankful that my Father watches over me and cares about every detail of my life.  His care for me is evident every day, and I can’t express the depth of my gratitude.
• I am so thankful for a beautiful, loving, wonderful wife who supports me in so many ways and gives me opportunities to support and show my love for her, too.
• I am so thankful for two children who bring joy to my life.  While being a parent is often tricky, I could not be happier as a dad.  The fact that both children have come into my life through adoption reminds me on a daily basis of the joy of being adopted into my Father’s family.
• I am so thankful for the recent move to Abingdon, VA.  I haven’t changed the graphic in the “About Me” section of the sidebar yet to reflect our move, but we are now officially residents of Virginia.  The details of how we ended up in Abingdon remind me of the tremendous provision of our loving Father.
• I am so thankful to be able to do things that I enjoy doing for “work”.  My work stays varied enough and interesting enough to actually be fun.
• I am so thankful that my work often gives me the ability to be home with my family.  There are stretches of time where the schedule gets difficult, but there are many more times where I can stay home and spend time with my lovely wife and children.
• I am so thankful for blog readers who often encourage me.  Especially when it’s weeks or even months between blog posts, and yet they keep coming back to read!
• I am so thankful to be a part of a podcast that is actually encouraging people.  The comments we have been receiving on our (mostly) weekly episodes humble me.
• I am so thankful to be able to minister to people through my music.  There was a time when I realized that I was nowhere near worthy of being used by our Father to touch others’ lives, but I have come to relax in the joy of knowing that I am worthy because of Christ.

These are just a few of the things that I am thankful for.  What about you?  The comments are open for you to share things that you are thankful for.  And to my brothers and sisters reading this in the United States, have a blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving day!  To my brothers and sisters outside the US, this is a good day to give thanks anyway!

steve

Many of you who read this blog may remember last year that I went through an agonizing six-month process of applying for, interviewing for, and getting turned down for a music director position at Barter Theatre in Abingdon, VA.  At the time, it seemed like a dream job, and it was one that I really wanted.  However, in a close race between me and one other person, they ultimately chose the other person.

Fast forward about six months to June of this year, and I get an email from the guy they hired, asking if I would join him in playing for one of their shows that they were doing with two keyboards.  I was surprised at how willing I was to do it, considering how disappointed I had been to not get the job in the first place.  But my heart had healed, and I gladly decided to make it work.  (It involved some negotiations with the University where I normally work during the school year because a handful of matinee shows would interfere with a commitment I had already made there.)

We made arrangements for how it would all work timewise, and Barter was kind enough to offer me a room to stay for those nights that I didn’t want to make the 90-minute drive back home after a late show (evening shows don’t start until around 8:00 PM).  All seemed settled, and everything was fine.  It would be fun to play a show there, and hey, the guy that took “my” job seemed really nice.

Then, about a week-and-a-half ago, he called me.  It seemed that he had an assistant music director who is not real strong on the keyboard, and they were wondering if maybe I could start a bit earlier than expected and play for some rehearsals, too.   Sure, why not?  So I agreed to that.

And then Sunday a week ago came.  A frantic email.  The assistant music director had left town without telling anyone.  Just cleaned out his room and left.  He was supposed to be music directing a show on his own.  They weren’t sure how they would cover everything.  They would call me Monday with more info.

Monday came, and a phone call.  Would I music direct the show the assistant was supposed to music direct instead of playing the show I was originally hired for?  Or would I like to music direct the show I was originally hired to play and the music director would pick up the other show?  I opted to just take the show the assistant had bailed on.

Now, it was looking more like two months of work instead of five weeks.  That’s cool.  But since it’s going to be more work than I had anticipated, maybe we should figure out a way for the whole family to be up there more.

So I googled “short term rentals Abingdon, VA” and contacted a place that specialized in fully-furnished rentals for short term use (i.e., corporate/business travelers).

And then Tuesday came.  Another phone call, a new offer.  Five months.  Finish out the season.  Music direct two shows, plus play in the original one I had been hired for, assist in other rehearsals, etc.

With a five-month contract, we definitely needed to find a place to stay up there.  We’d only need to be here in Boone one or two days a week, but the rest of the time I’d be working up there, so it made sense for us all to be up there most of the time.

However, I was waiting on some income from work I had done several months ago — income that I didn’t expect to receive until late August.  We would wait until those funds came in, and just try to get by with being apart some until then.

Tuesday afternoon, however, I had a meeting with the people for whom I had done that work.  And much to my surprise, they handed me a check for the amount I was owed!  We could rent a place right away!

Wednesday, I went up there for my first rehearsal, and we met with the agent I had contacted regarding a rental.  We looked at two places, and the second one was perfect. Three bedroom, two bath, nice quiet location less than two miles from where I’d be working.  It’s fully furnished, all utilities included, everything supplied including appliances, cookware, lawncare, internet access…  Wow!  And the price was within the range we had thought we could afford.

I went back for rehearsals Saturday and Sunday, and even though our lease was not to begin until today, the agent gave us a slightly smaller place to stay the night free of charge!

Today, we head back up there and will “move in” to our new place.  We’ll continue to rent this house in Boone and will be here probably Sunday nights each week, and maybe Monday nights as well.  But most of the week, we’ll be hanging out in beautiful and charming Abingdon, VA while I work for the theatre that once chose someone else over me.

It’s going to be a fun and action-packed five months.  The music director is a great and fun guy, and we hit it off immediately.  The theatre management told me that they had a very tough time deciding between him and me and now they feel like they have “the best of all worlds”.  I don’t know about that, but I do know that I’m very happy to have this job!

And through all of this, I have been absolutely amazed at the way in which our Father worked out all the details in such rapid fashion.  His provision has been timely and abundant, and the quickness with which all of this happened is amazing considering how many pieces needed to fit into the right place for everything to work.

I can still honor almost all of my commitments to the University throughout the semester, thanks to Barter’s eagerness to help work out a schedule that allowed that.  And I get to provide for my family while doing what I love doing!

Soooo…I’m not sure when I’ll be able to post again as the next few weeks will be hectic in the whole transition, but you’re used to waiting for my posts anyway, aren’t you?   At any rate, you now know what I’m doing while you’re waiting!

Until next time,

steve

While posting here has been sporadic at best in the past year, there have still been some really stimulating conversations, and some of you have really helped me think through some potentially difficult topics.

Thank you to all of my readers and commenters for making these three years a fun ride.  While I’m busy with other ventures (like podcasting and a not-yet-ready-for-publication joint blog with my wife, as well as our foster/adoptive experiences and my regular musical work), I do hope to continue to spark some interesting discussion here on this blog.

In the meantime, may our loving Father richly bless each of you on whatever journey you find yourself.  And may you find yourself growing deeper and deeper in an understanding of his love and the freedom that comes from life in him.

Until next time,

steve

Christy, thank you for four amazing years of marriage together. I look forward to the next four, the next fourteen, the next forty…however long we remain in this life. Thank you for being who you are and for helping me be who I am.

I love you!

Spending time with Tony in person is great! He’s got a terrific sense of humor, gracious spirit, and is very easy to talk to on just about any subject. In fact, Tony and I have a tendency to not really finish any subject, but rather to travel down innumerable rabbit trails — sometimes mid-sentence!

For this meeting, Tony and I had decided to go golfing together. I Googled to find a golf course that was sort of halfway in between us, and we decided to meet at the Old Fort Golf Course in (duh) Old Fort, NC. It’s a 9-hole, par 36 course that actually ended up being extremely affordable ($16 each to ride 9 holes).

Between theological discussions and analysis of recent blogging conversations, Tony and I had a blast batting our golf balls in all directions on the fairways, into the woods, etc. And when the dust settled, we got a great chuckle out of realizing that we were actually tied (guaranteeing a future playoff, I hope?)!

I won’t embarrass either of us by posting our actual score, but I can tell you that we both hit par on one hole. My approach shot to the green on that hole was actually from the next fairway over (!!), but we both managed to hit the green in regulation and two-putt for almost textbook par. The other 8 holes weren’t quite so textbook!!

At any rate, between the time talking on the course and a relaxed lunch afterwards (no thanks to the fact that Tony’s GPS unit doesn’t tell you that it’s actually a smoky truck stop that it’s leading you to!), we had some wonderful fellowship and some really deep conversation.

If you don’t already know Tony (he’s a frequent commenter here), I encourage you strongly to check out his two blogs (Rambling Prophet and Rambling Prophet 2) and enter into conversation with him on a wide variety of topics.

And Tony, watch out on that tie-breaker round next time. I know your tricks now

Indieheaven is an organization that aids independent artists (like me) in their careers through networking, resources, etc. And each year, they have what they call “Momentum Awards” — sort of their version of the grammy.

I was nominated this year for an award, and there was an early round of voting. Starting February 1 and running through March 1 is the second round of voting. The top vote-getters from the first round are in the running as finalists.

I was pleased to find out that I am one of four finalists in the “Instrumental Artist of the Year” category!!

So, if you don’t mind, please head over to http://www.indieheaven.com/momentum_awards.php and cast your vote before March 1.

I’m honored to be nominated for this award, and appreciate those of you who are supporting me in this.

Stretching Space – In May, 1995, I was preparing to move from New Jersey to Dallas, Texas to attend Dallas Theological Seminary. My parents offered to help with the moving expenses and to drive the moving truck for me so that I didn’t have to drive it and tow my car. I fully appreciated this offer, and accepted.

Based on the small amount of stuff that I had, I estimated that a 10-ft. U-haul truck would be sufficient, so that is what we rented. As moving day approached, I dragged my foot along the carpet in the living room of my small home to make a mark where the end and sides of the 10-ft. space would be. And I began stacking the boxes in that space.

The closer I got to moving day, the more I realized that my stuff was not going to fit in the space I had carefully measured and marked out in the living room. There was no way.

Driving to work a few days before the move, I was meditating on the passage where Jesus multiplied the bread and the fish to feed 5,000 people. Unaccustomed to asking for “miracles”, I began to talk to God openly.

“Lord, I don’t know how to ask for this, because I don’t even know if it is something I’m supposed to be asking you for. It seems silly. However, the reality is, my belongings will not fit in the 10-ft. truck we have reserved. If you were able to multiply a few loaves and fish enough to feed 5,000 people, I can’t help but believe that you can stretch the 10-ft. of space inside that truck to allow everything to fit.”

With that, I continued stacking boxes right up until moving day, extending past the line on the carpet. And I told absolutely no one about the problem or my prayer for provision.  Instead, I just quietly trusted that all would be well.

Moving day arrived, and my parents went to pick up the truck. As I sat waiting on the front step, they backed the truck up the driveway. I sat there looking at it thinking, “That doesn’t look like the truck in the picture.” My parents got out of the truck, and I said, “Is that a 10-ft. truck?” They said, “Well, actually, when we went to pick up the truck, they were out of 10-ft trucks. Since that’s what we had reserved, the guy at the U-haul place told us that he would just give us a 14-ft truck at the same price.”

When we packed the 14-ft truck, my boxes and belongings came right to the very end of that truck with just enough room to slide the door down and latch it! God “stretched” the 10-ft truck to just the right size to meet my needs!

Throwing Away the Meds – I am normally in very good health. I am very grateful for that. But it didn’t look so good for a while. In May, 2001, I was working at my desk in San Marcos, TX coding away on a software project. All of a sudden, I started feeling dizzy. My hands started to shake, and I began feeling very nauseous. Without warning, I suddenly began vomiting. Everything began to feel very strange and out of sorts to me.

I got control of the vomiting and decided to try to make my way to the bathroom at the other corner of the building. Feeling very weak, I made my way to my feet and started down the hall. Everything was spinning, and I kept falling. I tried to lean against the wall for support, and slowly made my way to the other end and into the bathroom. Once there, I laid on the cool tile for a while trying to get the feelings to subside.

Eventually, I managed to get myself back up and make my way to a co-worker’s office. He took one look at me and said, “Are you ok????” I tried to talk, but couldn’t really get the words out. He left to call 911 and another co-worker tried to help me to a chair. Instead, I began to collapse, and ended up stretched out on the floor.

By the time the ambulance arrived, I was not sure whether I was staying conscious or not. I was hyperventilating. My feet and legs felt numb, and I was losing feeling in my fingers. I tried to talk, but was trembling so much that I couldn’t really get anything out. All kinds of thoughts were running through my mind.

I spent several hours in the ER, but they could not find anything wrong. Finally, they discharged me, and since I was too weak to drive, a friend gave me a ride home. I had no strength at all, and my head was hurting very, very badly.

To make a long story short, this began a period of almost two months where I endured a constant migraine headache that debilitated me. My job was kind enough to allow me to telecommute, but every day, I would get up, stumble to my home office, attempt to work, but within 15 minutes, have to lay back down again. The headache would not go away. I had no strength. I couldn’t hardly think straight, and I ended up just taking a huge amount of sick days (my employer allowed us to borrow from future sick days, so I took advantage of that at the time).

Every day was the same — attempt to get up and deal with the pain, endure maybe 15 minutes of being up, and then feeling like I was going to collapse again.

Several times, a friend took me to the doctor. They did blood tests. They did a brain MRI. They could not identify anything that was causing the pain. So they put me on some pain medication to try to make the pain subside some. Even that seemed to have little effect.

For almost two months, I stayed in this condition. It was actually during this time that I began to seek to understand what God’s heart was with regard to healing. I began to spend time reading the accounts of healing in the Bible. I had always been the one to argue, “Well, Jesus didn’t heal everyone when he was here.” Yet, I could not find support for that argument.

What I found, in fact, was the statement in Matthew 8 where it says that they brought the sick to Jesus “and he healed them all.” And then, this was the part that really intrigued me, Matthew ties that into Isaiah 53 and the prophecy regarding Jesus there.

When I read that, I was dumbfounded. Part of the prophecy of Jesus coming included physical healing? And that was right in there with “by his stripes we are healed”? Why had I never seen that before?

So, I said, “Lord, I have been thinking all along that there’s a chance that you don’t want to heal. That you may have brought this into my life for some reason. That I shouldn’t assume that you want to heal me. But your heart, as revealed in Jesus, appears to be quite different. I believe that you do want to heal me, and I want to accept that.”

With that, and I am not exaggerating at all in any of this, I got up, threw the medication in the trash can, walked out the door, got in my car, and went to work. The headache left, the dizzy feeling, the weakness, all began to go away, and I have not looked back since.

After two months of barely being able to walk, I can’t tell you how good it felt to move around and function in life again!!

He’s Not Hurt? – Sometime around November, 2004, a co-worker of mine got a frantic call from his wife. Some men had been working on their roof, and one of them had fallen off the roof. Since my co-worker didn’t have his car with him (his wife had dropped him off earlier that day), he asked me to take him to his house.

When we got there, we saw the situation. One of the workers had, indeed, fallen from a roof that was about eight feet off the ground. He lay on the ground, his head against a wheelbarrow and his body twisted. He was conscious, but complaining about a lot of pain.

The ambulance arrived shortly after we got there, and the EMT began to assess the situation. It did not look very good, and they medical personnel were being extremely cautious. It was hard to tell if anything was broken, but every time they tried to move him, he complained about severe pain.

As he lay there, I watched and prayed. “Lord, I don’t know exactly what I should do here. Do I walk up in front of all these people and lay hands on this gentleman? Will I make a fool of myself?” I didn’t want to, in any way, draw attention to myself. And so I quietly just kept praying. “Lord, you know the extent of injuries here. You know the fall that he has taken, and how hard he hit. You know how to make everything the way it should be, and I ask you to heal this man. Put together any bones that are broken and restore him.”

They finally managed to get him loaded into the ambulance and rushed off to the hospital. We spent a few more minutes with my co-worker’s wife who was quite obviously and understandably shaken by all of this. But finally, we went back to work. I continued to pray and wonder what would happen.

The next day, I asked my co-worker if he had heard anything. He said, “Yeah, actually. Believe it or not, they checked him out at the hospital and found nothing wrong. They released him, and he is fine!”

Now, I don’t take credit for any part of this. I just am testifying to what I saw. A man fell from eight feet, landing on his back (we found out later that he had experienced a seizure that caused him to fall), possibly even hitting his head on the wheelbarrow, complained of severe pain, and several hours later walked out of the hospital completely fine!

Scott, thanks for asking about the personal experiences. I’ve enjoyed revisiting these events in my mind and sharing them.

Until next time,

steve

We anxiously await the next step in the process…